Dream fare

Light at the end of the tunnel

Can you see?

It screams and shouts

Let me be. 

The curve in the rainbow

Is it real?

The shades in the colours

Surreal. 

The spots in the sun

Are they there

Or is the truth

Blinded by glare

The other person 

Is he there

Or are you and I

In a dream fare. 

An hour of power!

My Sunday morning started with reading the paper. Jack Canfield's article on the 'Hour of Power' caught my attention. And I started reading the piece. Like every time, my first reaction to an article on the power of thought/belief etc was, 'what nonsense' - I have been thinking of so many things that I have been wanting for so long, and thinking about them really hard, still none of them translated into reality. I had heard so much about Rhonda Byrne's book , The Secret and like so many others, was extremely swift in jumping on 'what's this crapp' bandwagon. 

But while reading this article, a thought struck me. While undoubtedly I had been thinking and visualizing of all these things, these thoughts had always been diluted. I'll explain - when I think about something I desire, my thoughts always start with - 'I won't get it' , 'How will this ever happen', 'This is difficult' etc. The element of skepticism is never absent from my dream sequence. There is always an if, or a but. There is always some abberation, never absolute positivity. 

At the cost of sounding very cliched, if we do not believe we can achieve what we desire, how will the universe believe , or conspire for us achieving what we really want. Quoting SRK in Om Shanti Om, when one really really wants something, the whole universe conspires in facilitating the achievement of that dream. The condition being, one must know/believe it's possible, and must really really want it. 

I remember seeing so many people and thinking , 'how did she/he ever do this'. I probably know how. Not undermining the efforts, but I am sure something else was also present. 

The cynic in you must be thinking, 'realllly??!!' But my point is, what's the harm! If viewing the world with rose coloured glasses can actually make an iota of difference, is it not worth a try? And really, being positive leaves you feeling good.. Like what you want just happened. 

I read somewhere, Think like you have It.. Act like you have it.. 

Maybe an' hour of power' - (20 mins of meditation, 20 mins of reading something positive and 20 mins of exercise , as described by Mr.Canfield) might actually lead to a better tomorrow. All I know is, I don't want to think I didn't give it my best shot. And I just know I don't want to leave my best shot incomplete. 

The red lights

She rode the bus on the highway,

Uncertainity breezing along.

She couldn't care more or care less,

That had to be the spirit of the song.

The red lights welcomed her in,

Was that the first sign of sin?

His caress bought a quiver, a smile on her lips,

No, she said to herself, heart got miffed. 

Brain did a rewind,

Replayed the rules of the trade. 

All is fair in love and war,

She tried explaining to fate. 

Laughed at was she, and heavily humiliated,

Every night however, it was still the same red. 

How could her heart beat, how could she dare to feel,

...And so on played the cruel movie reel. 

Sadistic pleasure for one, immense sorrow for the other,

For some - a movie, just another. 

One fine day, she couldn't take it anymore,

The bus went over, all around blood gore. 

The red lights went white

And so did she.. 

Divorced from the pain, eternally.

Para~Para~Paradise

On the insistence of a very dear friend, I sat down to write this blog. Incidentally, what was playing in the background was Paradise..

And the word got me thinking.

Ever since I moved to Bangalore, I have been doing brilliant justice to the word 'cribfest'. Everything just jetstarts me into cribbing, be it the place or the people or my job or my love life. Or something as ridiculous as the water having a different taste, or the air smelling weird or the waiter not serving on me well or the rat in my bedroom. Good Lord, I have even cribbed about being alive.

I remember a very special friend once telling me, 'Tumpa, I know you can handle this better'. But I rubbished him off, and actually got pissed at him for daring to try and venture me into the very unpleasant and uncomfortable zone of introspection. But in retrospection, I know he was right.

As I am writing this, I am thinking, someone will look at me and say, 'wow, her life is ideal'. I am working in a world renowned company, earning what 'should' be enough money for a single person with absolutely no liabilities, living with friends, with great family support. Hell, where is the trouble?!

Day before yesterday, I was speaking to a co-inhabitant of the earth(attempt to not let the world trace who she is :) ), who is really unwell - is pregnant, has back problems, family problems, BIG time family problems - so much so that she prefers coming to office over lying in her bed at home inspite of not being able to sit up straight for more than 15 minutes at a stretch. You see her, she will still greet you with the biggest and warmest smile ever, which is so genuine that it truly melts your heart. Speaking with her made me feel small. So small.

I just had to ask her, where she derived her energy from. And her answer astounded me, she simply said, 'Tumpa, these problems will come and hopefully go, lifelong. What won't come again is this moment with you. Why should I kill it?'

And that summed it up for me. It was, in a way, my favourite song, Kal Ho Na Ho, (and it's not a favourite just because it's Shah Rukh's song) being rephrased.

It is important, no, not just important, but essential for us to be able to see and extract the joys in the everyday, mundane things of life. To know that the going will always have it's tough moments. It'll either be a boss or a salary that isn't enough or a mom-in-law that is making life hell or a stomach that is bulging out or a boyfriend who isn't receiving calls. Or something graver. Like a shirt that used to fit so well, but is tight around the arms now :)

I just know, I don't want to look back and think, 'yeah, he was right.. I could have lived it better'.

Starting now, I'll try.

Paradise is nowhere but here. Not sometime else but now.
Because, 'Kya pata, Kal Ho Na Ho'.